Float like a duck - the magic of inner buoyancy
The unknown is a scary prospect. Especially for a single female 50-plusser. Being a member of the weaker sex (why exactly we got that label defies comprehension!) has its own set of unique challenges that seem to escalate as we grow older. And navigating these through the minefield of a break-up, coupled with menopause, does not make things any easier.
But life has a way of getting you airborne when you least expect it – and in that millisecond before you hit the ground, your only choice is to land on your feet – there is no other alternative.
I wish I can say I was ready for this new chapter in my life – but alas, it was a question of float like a duck or sink like a stone. Enters the concept of buoyancy. An object becomes buoyant when its weight is less than that of the fluid around it. Too much weight can sink a ship, just as too much baggage can kill your spirit.
I have recently packed up my whole life yet again, and, from the onset of this exercise, I knew that it was going to be a life-changing experience. In the midst of it all, I went through a myriad of intense emotions, of which disappointment, disbelief, sorrow, disarray, disillusion, pain and self-doubt were only the tip of the iceberg. These emotions all carry weight - dead weight. I wish discarding them can be as easy as colouring your hair to remove the grey. But you can apply as much colour to negative emotions as you want – it will weigh you down in the end. But I have always landed on my feet and this time is no different.
I cried the tears, felt the pain and made a conscious decision to open my spirit to the universe. Small miracles immediately began to manifest in my life. Slowly I became aware of a flutter of excitement in the pit of my stomach, an anticipation of new things to come. Doubt was replaced with self-confidence, sorrow with gratitude and disillusion with expectation. And before I knew it, my whole being became buoyant.
Are you feeling stuck in your situation? Have you lost sight of who you are? Are you drowning in a sea of negativity and hopelessness? Feel the pain and do it anyway. Remember that your current situation is not your destination. It’s a temporary stopover and there are better things to come! Work through the hurt and make a conscious effort to affirm the positive - not the negative, and a shift in your perspective will be imminent.
I still do not have all the answers, but at least I have rediscovered my inner compass. And no, I am not denying or ignoring the pain. But I am allowing it to fuel my new sense of self, and to rediscover my purpose. I have also renamed the fear I feel – I prefer to call it a pleasant anticipation of life, of great and awesome things to come.
I have a lovely home again and I am looking forward to new experiences, meeting new people and facing new challenges head-on. Sitting on the stoep, enjoying my morning coffee, I am intensely grateful for exactly this moment in time. And best of all – there is not a grey hair in sight!
Here's to life!